Standard Disclaimers

This program is intended for general use and no warranty is implied for
suitability to any given task.  I hold no responsibility for your setup
or any damage done while installing or using this program.

In any case of loss, the manufacturer offers to refund the entire purchase price 
of this product.  If fact, because the product is free, the manufacturer will refund
double the purchase price on Fridays.

NOTICE: No animals were harmed in the creation or testing of this product.

IMPORTANT: This product is certified to be 99.9% Microsoft free. (It was 100%
free before adding this notice.)

ENVIRONMENTAL STATEMENT: This product has been constructed completely 
of recycled bits.  No new bits we used in the creation, testing, or distribution of this 
product.

CAUTION: This product contains no toxic chemicals or poisons.  However, proper
disposal is suggested of older version(s) when upgrades are performed.

NON-EXPLOSIVE: Although this product is packaged in a compressed format, it will
not explode or suddenly de-compress under normal conditions (see below).

THERE SHE WAS: Just a'walkin' down the street.  Singin' do-wa-ditty-ditty-dum-ditty-do.

WARNING: This product warps space and time in its vicinity. 

WARNING: This product attracts every other piece of matter in the universe, 
including the products of other manufacturers, with a force proportional to 
the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between 
them.
 
CAUTION: The mass of this product contains the energy equivalent of 85 million
tons of TNT per net ounce of weight.
 
HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This product contains minute electrically charged 
particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles per hour.
 
CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "uncertainty principle," it is impossible for 
the consumer to find out at the same time both precisely where this product is
and how fast it is moving.
 
ADVISORY: There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a 
process known as "tunneling," this product may spontaneously disappear from 
its present location and reappear at any random place in the universe, 
including your neighbor's domicile. The manufacturer will not be responsible 
for any damages or inconveniences that may result.
 
READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE: According to certain suggested versions 
of the Grand Unified Theory, the primary particles constituting this product 
may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years.
 
THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT: In the unlikely event that this merchandise 
should contact antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result.
 
PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any use of this product, in any manner 
whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe. Although 
no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process will 
ultimately lead to the heat death of the universe.
 
NOTE: The most fundamental particles in this product are held together by 
a "gluing" force about which little is currently known and whose adhesive 
power can therefore not be permanently guaranteed.
 
ATTENTION: Despite any other listing of product contents found hereon, the 
consumer is advised that, in actuality, this product consists of 
99.9999999999% empty space.
 
NEW GRAND UNIFIED THEORY DISCLAIMER: The manufacturer may technically be 
entitled to claim that this product is ten-dimensional. However, the consumer 
is reminded that this confers no legal rights above and beyond those 
applicable to three-dimensional objects, since the seven new dimensions 
are "rolled up" into such a small "area" that they cannot be detected.
 
PLEASE NOTE: Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer 
is not directly observing this product, it may cease to exist or will exist 
only in a vague and undetermined state.
 
COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The subatomic particles (electrons, protons, etc.) 
comprising this product are exactly the same in every measurable respect as 
those used in the products of other manufacturers, and no claim to the contrary 
may legitimately be expressed or implied.
 
HEALTH WARNING: Care should be taken when lifting this product, since its 
mass, and thus its weight, is dependent on its velocity relative to the user.
 
IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The entire physical universe, including this 
product, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should 
another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of this product in 
that universe cannot be guaranteed.       

________________________________
With thanks to Don Hopkins for "quantum phyics" notices.